I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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