I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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