U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
