I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize