just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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