I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize