I hate all girls vehemently.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
