I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
