These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
