Christians are straight up FREAKS
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
