i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
