Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
