Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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