walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
