Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
