Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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