Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
