Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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