no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
