And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
