True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
