I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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