these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
