Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
