OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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