he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
