Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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