I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
