So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
