Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
