We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
