I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
