no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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