i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
