The maid of honor just puked.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
