Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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