i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
