im drinking this country out of the recession.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
