While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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