Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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