The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
