The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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