I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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