At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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