..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he thought i was a dude.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
