About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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