You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
