C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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