My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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