So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The uberlube is also flammable
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
